Beautiful Impermanence

   

    Positivity, usually a word that exudes from my spirit as though it were limitless. I have been through trauma before, through times that are more difficult than others, but never like this. The past year my life has felt as though it is on pause. As though my life has paused to slap me in the face with  gratitude for my own health. Watching the suffering of family with no way to help except just to be there, has truly been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. As each day has gone by I have watched the man I love most wither away with each chemotherapy visit, trip to the emergency room, surgery, procedure, and dose of heavy pain medication. I watch the color slowly drain from his face, the pounds shed leaving little left but bones, his spirit dim as though the strongest fire one has ever known has just had a bucket of water thrown on it, leaving nothing but the smoke. With it life has swallowed up whatever naivety I had left. Life has in no way left me jaded but it has certainly thrown my spirit into reality, shown me its true ugliness, and the most intense suffering anyone could ever know. Along with it there has also been beauty, laughter, strength, unwavering courage, and the softening of a man who would not so much as acknowledge the existence of a band-aid. Within even the darkest moments of our life there is a light. Being faced with overt impermanence grants one the true realization of the preciousness of each moment. It shows life's unpredictability and that even when we perceive invincibility, we are bound to the realities of impermanence. In the midst of chaos and darkness we can still be the light that shines on others and encourages a smile upon their face. Being the pure light that radiates out in times of darkness is beautiful no matter who chooses to see it or accept it. We only have control of the light that lies within us and how we emit that light into the world, what lies outside our control is how others see that light and whether or not they choose to accept it, but continue to shine we must. Fall is a time of transition, we can choose to see the beauty of that transition and enjoy it, or we can await darker times. Today I am grateful to live a life with no regrets. I wish to continue to enjoy each moment, each transition, each breath. My great grandmother said where there is breath there is life, I think she is right.

http://thinkprogress.org/2010/08/08/olson-wallace-fns/

The jurisdiction of individual states to exercise control over their local laws is important not only because of logistics but to uphold certain aspects of culture in each state. However there are basic laws that protect the fundamental liberties and freedom of all citizens alike regardless of what state. The laws of the constitution are constructed in such a way to protect these fundamental rights. If we cannot take advantage of the very structure of our legal system in a case where there is such an obvious discriminatory violation of human rights then why are they in place? Our constitution and laws protect the right for any citizen of the United States to freely exercise their right to marry. If we allow states to be able to decide whether or not gay marriage should or should not be allowed then this not only puts at risk the rights of gay individuals but the potential for risk of future groups being discriminated against. In our laws there are certain rights that have been constructed in a way to specify inalienable rights as a citizen and the right to marry included. Regardless of what state a gay citizen of the United States lives in they should be able to exercise the right to marry, Why should their right to live equal to any other citizen in a certain state be taken away simply because of their sexual orientation? Just like every citizen has the free right of speech they also have the right to marry, this is outlined in the constitution, just like states cannot individually take away the right to speech they should not be able to take away the right to marry.

Mindful Giving

 

    

  I have never purchased anything on black friday, even before my hatred for materialism continued to grow as I got older. I am always deeply unsettled by the way people behave on this day. I had no idea what it was before. I went with my boyfriend at the time to Best Buy, we got up before the sun came out which is not natural on any day no matter how many gadgets I get to go home with. I went there without really needing anything in particular, I guess I just wanted to see what this day was about. I walked pretty aimlessly around the store, meandering down the aisles uncomfortably taking in the chaos. As I walked around I could feel the energy of everyone running and shoving past one another to buy whatever it was they thought was worth getting up at this ungodly hour. I reached an aisle that I could not pass because it was blocked by a giant cage filled with cameras. As I turned to head in the other direction I was shoved out of the way from behind, naturally arose a bit of anger as I turned around and an older gentleman no younger than 70 had shoved me out of his way. Not so much as a glance in my direction he simply began to yell at an employee about a camera he needed. People often joke about this day and the poor older folks getting trampled, I think back to this day and think they shove just as much. A day falling after one that should still resonate with gratitude is filled with aggression and disregard for others. We are a society filled with useless things we think will make us happy and I watch people push past each other as though they are all in the running to be on that show hoarders. I do not know a single person who has returned from black friday madness content and glad they decided to venture out. For the holidays please think about giving something that you did not obtain by shoving someone out of your way. Try giving someone something like a massage,tickets to a show, an experience, or donating to a charity in their name. Try giving from your heart, something that is not just thoughtful for the receiver but for the planet. 

Proud to be an American

Chemicals so deadly any contact could result in death within minutes, perilous chemical warheads, covert Uranium obtained from Nigeria, treacherous centrifuge tubes, poison training camps and all under the leadership of fear mongering leader Saddam Hussein. What is present in the previous statement is no doubt an attempt to manifest fear but what is absent is the other side of the story, essentially all of these chemicals alluded to have been destroyed by the United Nations many years prior, the trace of chemical warheads remain to be nothing more than leftover debris from years past, and there is an overall complete lack of evidence of any Uranium obtained from Nigeria by Iraq. The presence of these fear inducing stories is not something that in itself should produce anger among the American Public though in many cases these stories have proven to be outright lies. What is not only simply a cause for concern but personally infuriating and outrageous for all those who may value or place faith in mainstream media is the complete lack of coverage and the second untold story of the Iraq war. Any opposition to the war whatsoever by peace activists was denounced as incompetent, they were described to be Anti-American heretics who may as well become suicide bombers for Saddam Hussein. The goal of the press and media is to be a watchdog of the people, by keeping the public informed by way of truth, critical analysis, facts, and investigation (all things that should be present among good journalism) the public can be better equipped to interpret true reality and be protected from the government becoming too powerful. With a truer representation of reality the American Public can then be able to act based upon a more tangible reality, and not simply by an illusion created to be aligned with United States interests.

It is written in our nation's political doctrine that it is our duty to rise up against injustice, especially a government who threatens our civil liberties that were so eloquently and sacredly spelled out by our founding fathers. Our constitutions and the bill of rights were written with the dream and hope to protect the freedom of our citizens. In October of 2001 at 3AM a document of 300 pages was expected to be voted on by 11AM, a doctrine that would allow electric surveillance, access to individual bank and medical records, credit card statements, and even the books individuals take out of the library, all without so much as a warrant to do so. How can an act that infringes on the right of the privacy of it's citizens in over 300 pages be given a mere 8 hours to be voted on? Manipulation using semantics redefines US citizens as "enemy combatants", meaning that any US citizen could be defined this way because the president "says so". They can make it difficult to get a lawyer and even portray mentally healthy people as insane. Severe pain and suffering can be justified as long as there is "specific intent", justifying torture. If a country is keeping it's ordinary citizens under surveillance it keeps them in silence. Police covertly took part in protests to spy on groups even after no illegal activity was discovered. It is the above story that allows me to question the notion of "freedom". I do value the ability to even post this in a blog, but is my freedom to post directly correlated to my negligible number of followers? It is when we are silenced that we are imprisoned. By default of living in a democratic nation we have a responsibility and to hold our government accountable to its people. 

Prana

We as human beings are inherently limited to the reality that surrounds us. Embedded into the capabilities of our physical iris is the limitation of our own perspective. The world is immense physically and metaphysically. The acknowledgment of our human limitations can be utilized to create a constant thirst for knowledge and wisdom to ultimately reach enlightenment as we embrace that limitation. We can use this wisdom to deepen our minds, our physical body, and the depths of our souls. Our minds create our own life experiences based upon how we choose to perceive them and make them a part of us. The true embrace of all that is complex and all that is simple we can stop thinking things are "black or white". Acceptance of the true ambiguity of all can be conceptually overwhelming while simultaneously invigorating. The one thing shared by all is prana, the energy that is flowing within us and all that surrounds us. We can begin to manipulate it's flow by controlling the prana we choose to emit, share, and take in. From the gas station attendant to the highest paid CEO, from the beautiful lotus flower to the overgrown weed, to the spec of dust floating near the window sill to the soft fall of a glimmering snowflake prana is shared, transferred, or let go, it is what connects us all to everything. Once we accept that we can truly recognize the oneness of all.

Peacefully Edgey

What motivates you? When you wake up every morning what drives you? Is the life you are living in harmony with who you are? Do you do things because they are a true expression of the life you want to live or do you wake up and go through the motions? Are you acting from within or are you being pushed around by the external? Do you define yourself or do you surrender that control to that which lies outside yourself? Do you let yourself be defined by what you do, who you are with, what you buy, what you look like, what kind of car you drive? family? friends? If we remain chained to our outer world we will constantly remain prisoners to the external world of chaos. Fuck conventionality, who society thinks we should be. Sure if what you want to do is put on your business attire, participate in 9-5 slavery, sit in traffic only looking forward to retiring to the couch and stuffing some food in your face while you watch a bunch of screaming colors, well then be my guest. I am far from perfect, none of us are, but who I am everyday (or at least on days I meditate...) is sourced from a place of authenticity. A disorganized, scatterbrained, oversensitive, chaotic, inconsistent authenticity, but authenticity nonetheless. My actions are a reflection of what lies within and the life I live is a journey on a path that reflects the life I choose to create for myself. Sure there's food, water, shelter, minute details... but beyond our necessities and those we love and provide for we are limited by the walls which we build for ourselves within the constructs of our mind that we allow to be hijacked by that which lies outside of us. Stand out on the edge and face your fear, and make peace with it, whatever it is. Anyone can find peace out here in the safety of our homes but finding peace out on the edge in the company of your fear, that is for the truly courageous. 

Procrastination Because it Feels So Good

 

      What is standing between you and your dreams? What is keeping you from living the life you envision that seems so intangible? so out of reach? So often we get caught up in the every day and we forget to really live. What is it that makes you happy? Are you doing it? If not why? What is holding you back? money? time? Chances are what is holding us back from what we want is within ourselves. It is easy to be afraid of the unknown but it is exhilarating to put yourself out on that edge and be comfortable with being uncomfortable. How can we find peace out on the edge? Is that even possible? Maybe for some of us, but it is that uncomfortable feeling that stands between us and where our hearts are really leading us. Are you listening to your heart? Are the excuses already pouring in? No excuse is valid enough to keep us from the life we wish to live. Sure, easier said than done. That is the hard part, the doing. Buy the ticket, take the leap, make the call, face your fear. Go There.

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